Uh..Is This Thing On?

drochfaol:

ryancrobert:

sexybritishllama:

no cough syrup

you are not ‘grape flavoured’

have you ever tasted a grape

you taste like death and the tears of small children

not fucking grape

wow what a surprise another cis-gendered white upper-middle class american male telling someone what they can and cannot identify as. why don’t you go fuck yourself

#i can no longer tell what is and isn’t a joke on tumblr any more

kookie667:

Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”

lllllllllllllletswrite:

i almost got arrested when i was 7 because i was putting that fake snow stuff in plastic sandwich baggies and giving them to all my friends and more and more kids would come to me asking for snow and one of the kid’s parents found it and they thought it was cocaine so they called the police on us and they literally thought that a 7 year old girl had created an underground drug distributing system

glumshoe:

This was my chemistry professor.

bootykage:

bootykage:

bootykage:

yungflowergirl:

I truly go into housewife mode when im someones girlfriend like I will make u pancakes and bacon every morning and suck u up whenever u want

this a lie

im literally dating this girl

this a lie

she dont even know how to cook a pancake what is this

The struggle is real

me: I should go shower now
(five minutes later)
(another five minutes later)
(yet another five minutes later)
(more five minute intervals)
someone: (goes into the bathroom)
me: wow fuck you I was JUST about to go take a shower

tsarbucks:

tehlofflies:

tsarbucks:

you know when i die i’ll probably just be in the afterlife blogging like 

"heaven has no free wi-fi? fuck this shit i’m going to hell"

how do you know hell has wifi

satan owes me several favors


Dallas, TX - 8/24


My best friends went to that concert..I didn’t get too.😔